How You Can Practice Self-Love by Being More Present
I have received a strong impulse to give up social media for the month of February and I have good reason to believe that this impulse came from my higher-self. I have also received a good amount of support for the idea on Facebook so… higher-self + Facebook friends = “Give it a try, Sika.” And here we are.
Now as you may know from my previous posts, I’m a new resident of Los Angeles who doesn’t yet have a regular 9–5 keeping me busy through the week. So naturally, I’ll often resort to scrolling through social media as an easy way to feel connected while I’m reading and/or writing at home or in a cafe. I don’t see this as a negative thing. I love that I get to keep up with what my friends are doing and send a little note of support with whatever they’re focusing on in the moment. Throughout my move, I have seen social media as a very positive thing in that regard.
Why give it up?
Do I love social media too much? My favorite platform is Instagram with Snapchat and Facebook following in at 2nd and 3rd. I love scrolling through the pretty pictures of the gram and follow a good amount of high-vibe wellness-focused accounts. I love the immediacy and realness of Snapchat and knowing what people have been up to in the past 24 hours, without the glossiness of instagram’s very intentional curation. I love the funny memes and videos of Facebook and the likelihood of getting people’s genuine responses to a status that I post (i.e. this one about giving up social media). It gives me the feeling of community that I’ve always longed for IRL.
BUT
I’d like to practice being more present in my everyday life. More aware of what’s going on with Sika and less aware of what’s going on out there. Objectively, there’s nothing wrong with being in-the-know but it can become overwhelming when it becomes a reflexive impulse anytime there’s a quiet moment or we’re just yearning for quick and easy gratification. I’m most interested in this challenge as a means of getting more in-tune with my own emotions.
Some people mask their emotions with food, with television, with drinking, with smoking, with other people’s attention and love, for some it’s the constant chatter and other shallow gratifications that can be found on social media channels. Am I any one of those people? Of course! I believe that each of us are all or at least one of those people to some degree and I think it’s a natural reaction to growing up in today’s society. Through this challenge, I hope to learn more about how I navigate the world without the noise of what I deem some of the biggest distracters, validators, and numbing mechanisms out there.
What emotions will arise when I can’t log into Facebook for an easy laugh or likes? Where will I turn instead? How will my relationships shift without easy reminders of my existence and theirs through a social feed? How steady can I build my internal alignment without being distracted by other people’s lives? How much joy and self-fulfillment can I cultivate without looking to others for validation? How will I fill my time without hours of endless scrolling built into my day?
How it’ll work
Starting tonight, after I alert the masses, I will give up Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. I will delete the apps of Twitter and Snapchat and turn off notifications for Instagram and Facebook. Because I keep meeting new people and there are a number of contacts whose only way of reaching me is through those two platforms, I will check the platforms for direct messages only (not notifications) one night a week during an allotted time (maybe Wednesday). I am not allowed to do ANY scrolling or notification checking AT ALL.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to listen to my favorite uplifting podcasts (I love Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations and my recent discovery of Sarah May B.’s Help Me Be Me) , continue doing yoga videos on YouTube, continue catching up with This Is Us (no spoilers!), continue learning the art of screenwriting, and continue doing lots of living life IRL (go figure)! My friends have my number and I’ll start giving it to more people I meet in real life instead of connecting on Facebook or Instagram. I’m most excited that this challenge is coinciding with the last live round of Jess Lively’s Flow with Intention course which my intuition very clearly led me to. I look forward to spending my Tuesday nights working on aligning with my higher self and feeding off of Jess’s bubbly positive energy.
Look out for updates about how my month is going! I may write some reflective posts along the way.
I am calling this my self-love practice for February because I believe that tending to ourselves above anyone or anything else is what self-love is all about. Some may call it selfish but I call it necessary. I believe that when we take care of ourselves, the whole world benefits. When we know ourselves, we become more secure in our footing and gain unmatched clarity. When we love ourself, we are able to freely love others. Free of resentment, free of keeping score, free of caring how they respond to us.
What better time to practice this self-love than in February? Show yourself love. Show yourself compassion. Trust yourself. If there’s something that you believe will make you happy, do it. Let go of judgments and opinions from others. Just tend to you. Your well-being is the most important garden. Plant positive seeds.
Are you challenging yourself to any self-love practices this February? Would you like to? or do you already practice self-love on a consistent basis in other ways? I’d love to hear your ideas to see if I need to give them a try. Share share away in the comments!
Originally posted on my personal blog Brightly Illuminated, where I document my perspective as a millennial post-grad trying to make sense of the “real world” through a lens of positivity and self-development. Read more on my brand new blog Brightly Sika!
